The slugs of the rings
by Gollum girl2003 Coraline
Summary: In Arda, not only Dwarves, Men, Elves and Hobbits try to destroy the ring, but slugs too! Crazy ones. Join the Fellowship as they (cluelessly) make there way though the slug world of Middle-Earth. That is, when they figure out how, or when the Slender man stops stalking them. Don't forget The Doctor appearing at random points od the plot. On hiatus. Read and review please!
1. Fangirl attack at the coucil of Slugrond

**.Hi, this is just a story that popped into my head. This is inspired from a rainy day when a load of slugs were gathering to one place and I said to my Dad, "it looks like they are going to the council of Elrond... Hmm the council of Slugrond!"**

**From this story you may think I hate the Lord of the Rings, well I don't. It's Harry Potter that I can't stand. Just wait and see what I have done to Gimli. MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA *Frodo drags the authoress away and suspends her in Frodo land AGAIN.*(See, the human lurer for more information.)**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, apart from the names and the insanity, oh, and the parody of concentration. Another thing is I am going to add to each chapter. You are allowed to do that right? *Turns to Frodo hiding behind a chair with a flame thrower, axe in his hand*. Well, Frodo obviously isn't going to help, so I will ask you lovely people, can I? **

Lord Slugrond from Rivendell looked around, Slow-Dwarves, Slug-men and Slime-Elves had attended his council. "Slugs from distant land, st - OOH, look at that. Its shiny!" Slugrond coughed and tried to stay sane for this whole council, which was a challenge for him. "Anyway, strangers of old, I dragged you here, kicking and screaming to tell you about the threat of Mordor."

Slowdo Baggins, the ring bearer, raised his slimy tail thing, "do we have to, because I am a hobbit of the Shire, I don't want to end up like my crazy Uncle, besides I might break a nail."

"DON'T interrupt ring bearer or do you want me to set the gummibears on you? Anyway, how on earth do you have nails? " Slugrond threatened. Slowdo shrieked and slithered behind the chair, shaking. "Prior to that, the one ring is on the table over their, Boroslime no one can wield it, it has only one master. One of you need to somehow destroy it, blah blah."

Slowli, son of Slion took his axe from next to him and said, "well what are you guys waiting for, your mother to give you permission? AHHHHHH!" He struck the ring with his axe. Surprisingly, it left a tiny crack! A load of fangirls game screaming up the stairs shouting, "Slowli you're so heroic omigosh WOW! SLUGOLAS IS IN THERE,GET HIM!" Slugrond stood at the entrance and did his creepy eyebrow thing, Slugolas screamed like a girl and hid behind Slowgorn. Slugrond looked behind his shoulder and looked behind him then gave Slugolas and look. The fangirls burst into tears and then stopped to prance of happily, with smiles on their faces.

"Well guys, why don't you destroy it in Mount Doom?" Slowdo ,who had stopped quivering behind his chair, suggested. Everyone turned to Slowdo and took a little slither back.

"It was Slowdos idea, Slowdo does it!" All of the slugs said in unison.

"Hey! Wait thats not fair! I don't even know the sausages that live their, or the bacon. What if the fangirls come back?" Slowdo protested.

"Slowdo," Sluggalf said in a vioce as if he was talking to a baby who had mistaken Legolas for Haldir. "Are you getting your Orcs mixed up with your sausages and your Urak-hi ** (A/N: How do you spell it?)** mixed up with your bacon? Of COURSE the fangirls will come back, the authoress hates you. But I suppose, the authoress can only get us squashed by random LEGO people, so I will help you." Slowdo smiled.

"The authoress would never hurt me so I'll help but NO pranks on me. If you do, I will sign you up for Hogwarts!" Slugolas said., Slowdo winced.

"I kind of had a bet with Slugolas that I would be the first one to fall out of the window or do some thing random like bounce around singing the gummibear song... Ooh I feel the beat yay! I win! Join in if you like!" Slowgorn began to bounce around singing the gummibear song. **(A/N: Join in you guys at home and freak all other who are present!)** "I AM A GUMMIBEAR, I AM A GUMMIBEAR, I AM A GUMMY GUMMY GUMMY GUMMY GUMMIBEAR!" Slowgorn screamed at the top of his lungs. The poor elves were screaming with insanity and randomness their poor sensitive ears! Along with one of the authoresses good and crazy friend called Eve, who is terrified of Gummibears.

After five hours of non-stop screaming, Slowli went up to Slowdo and grumbled, "if there are things from twilight, I am outta hear."

Suddenly, Slimewise Gamgee appeared from a blue box called a TARDIS and waved at the doctor a goodbye. "Mister Slowdo sir, we were hiding because apparently, there was fangirl attack and they use very modern words sir. They scare me, sir." Slowdo sighed and looked at Slugrond who was playing chess with Sloin, then he lost, screamed and broke the board into tiny pieces.

"Ahem.. Bonjour! Today is my one hundred and eleventh birthday! Oh, sorry wrong line. Slime-wise, where did you come from?!" Slugrond demanded in a random french accent.

"The doctor gave me a lift in the TARDIS."

"Oh, I see."

From behind an old broken Darlek, Meriodoc Slimybuck and Perragrin Slook began doing the hand clap, concentration just with their foot.  
"This is a game,  
Of Slowdo Baggins,  
No repeats,  
Or Slimewise Gamgee,  
I'm Smeagol,  
And you're Gollum,  
The subject is,  
Always Middle-earth!"

Everyone at the council watched in astonishment as if they were shiny for the time they did it. Boroslime coughed and everyone stopped staring. "I like trains!" Boroslime announced, "oh yes, and I would like to help destroy the ring if there is any war or shiny things.

"Hey, me and Pippin are coming too. I want to practice our acting and random singing." Merry cried, slithering from behind the Darlek.

"Plus, you need minecraft players in this dentist appointment, especially if the slender man comes along." Pippin added.

"I am here!" Slowgorn said, excitedly doing the jazz hands.

"No! Thats your nickname we are talking about the monster." Merry explained.

"Oh.." Slowgorn sniffed then burst into tears.

"Oookay. You shall be the fellowship of the ring." Slugrond announced proudly.

* * *

**Taadahh! One whole chapter done! I made the concentration parody with my friend Zak, who is also on fanfiction. I welcome constructive criticism or anything like that. So please reviewer! Reviewers get a LotR shaped cookie witha characters face on it of your choice. So bye!**


	2. The first day of the fellowship

**Oh... Hello all! Welcome back to... THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF POTATOES... *Turns to all of her friends, (including Eve, remember her?) No, not the wonderful world of potatoes? Oh... Ok. Lets make a game show! Ok how about... Are you smarter than a mutant hobbit? Oh yes The Random Oliphaunt made that. I am not sure...**

**Eve: Just get on with the fic. And NO MORE GUMMIBEARS! I am ok with jelly bears though, they are my friend!  
*Authoress smiles evilly at all of her other friends, they smile back.* Join and freak out all who are present and Eve!  
Authoress, all of her friends apart from Eve, the fellowship of the ring (slugs and normal) Elrond, Galadriel, Celeborn, Gollum, Smeagol, Deagol, Gil-galad, Tom Bombadil, Bilbo, Arwen, Denethor, Faramir, Eowyn and every single Coraline, LotR and Hobbit character : I AM A GUMMIBEAR,I AM A GUMMIBEAR, I AM A JELLY JELLY JELLY JELLY GUMMIBEAR. JELLY JELLY JELLY JELLY GUMMIBEAR!**

**Eve: You're confusing me. Oookay, just run the fic.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. I don't own Mine craft or the Dalek or The Lord of the Rings or the sonic screwdriver... However, I do own SotR... MWA HA H - Ok, ok I'll stop if you don't suspend me in Frodo land, I promise.**

* * *

The Fellowship were doing random things all over Rivendell. Slimewise was asking what everything was, so Slowdo gave him a dictionary. Pippin and Merry were messing about with an old Dalek, which then came back to life and chased them around Rivendell. Slugolas and Slowli insulting each other over how masculine they both are, which led to Slugolas having the irritating nickname of: Barbie. While Slowgorn was and Boroslime were discovering the magic of mine craft and then practically had a heart attck when the Slender man kidnapped them and they died. Lastly, Sluggalf was talking to Lord Slugrond about the fangirl attack, which the doctor then fixed by appearing from now where in his TARDIS and sonic screwdrivered EVERYTHING! Then he looked around and muttered something about Pippin and Merry being stalked.

**Slowdo and Slimewise.**

"Slime, Slime, Slime, Slime... SLIMEWISE GAMGEE LISTEN TO YOUR MASTER!"

"Yes mister Slowdo sir."

"I want pizza, get me some."

"Whats pizza, whats getting?"

"Slime, just get me some Dominos."

"Whats Dominos? Ohh.. Look it's my birthday! Wait.. Whats a birthday."

"*Sigh* Here Slime, have a dictionary."

"Whats a dictionary?"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Where you goin' Mister Slowdo sir. Whats AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH?!"

**Pippin and Merry.**

"I am not a hundred percent sure we should be doing this Merry."

"Relax. I have never, ever done this before and I am doing the most dangerous things to the Dalek which means that it will probably come back to life or something." Merry fiddled with the Dalek again with a screwdriver, Pippin strayed back watching nervously. He looked around to spot a tall and unrealistically thin man in a black suit and tie, he seemed to have no eyes, nose, or mouth. To Pippin it seemed as if he had tentacles growing out of his back, but Pippin just went on to reading _how to become a dentist_ untill...

"Exterminate..." A Dalek rasped as it lowered its head.

"Bless you Merry."

"That wasn't me, it was the d-d-d- DALEK! RUN!" Merry shouted as the Dalek began to chase him around. Instead of running, Merry began skipping around (I don't know how... but they did).

"Oh... Ok. Shall we sing to pass the day by?"

"Ok!" Merry agreed, cheerfully.

"Exterminate!"

"I like cheeeeeeeeeeeeese! It makes me happy!" Pippin sang, Merry continued.

"It's very common, that it succeeds to pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease!"

"Exterminate!"

"Actually, stop the singing, just run... RUN! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Merry said.

"Okay! AHHHHHHHHHH!"

"EXTERMINATE!"

**Slowli and Slugolas.**

"Hey, Slugolas." Slowli called.

"What?"

"Check out my biceps!"

"Ha! You're a slow-dwarf, the only thing there is going to be fat!"

"Oh and what about you, Mister feminine?! Look at you, with your gorgeous, blonde locks." **(A/N: Such beautiful locks... Ahh Legolas...)**

"Well, at least I don't have _braided _hair like a proper girly girl. Besides your only jealous."

"Pathetic come back! Have you been out with Ken yet?"

"What?"

"Oh, sorry I thought you were Barbie. HA HA HA HA HA HA! That's the best nickname ever, Barbie!"

"At least I don't look like the monster underneath a kids bed!"

"Gasp! How dare you!? We aren't being insane enough, are we?"

"I suppose not.. That was a very exasperated gasp very," Slugolas sniggered." Feminine."

**Boroslime and Slowgorn.**

Boroslime held a Samsung tablet in his hand (again, no idea with the hands) playing mine craft with Slowgorn.

"Wow! Merry and Pippin did well recommending us mine craft! The squareness is EPIC!" Slowgorn commented.

"Too right bro. Whats that up ahead? It's quite big."

"Now, I know I wasn't listening but Pippin said something about danger. Did you listen?"

"Pah, no, never! When was the last time I listened about cautions."

"It moved. It may be the Slender man. You know, the thing that Pippin mentioned in the council of Slugrond?"

"What, dentist appointments!?" Boroslime asked.

"No, the other thing! AH! It moved very, very quickly that time its nearly infront of us."

"SLENDER MAN!"

"OH MY ELLESAR! It killed us!" Slowgorn screeched.

"Aww.. Now we have to start the world all over again!"

In the trees above, the tall figure Pippin spotted watched Slowgorn and Boroslime. It chuckled. "You will be much more terrified when I come for my food. Soon I will have one of you, eeny meeny miny mo didn't work so I will randomly pick." Beside the figure, a nettle stung it. "Ow! You pricked me! Well say sorry! Oh... The silent treatment is it? Well you know what this means. WAR!" The tall figure began to smash the nettle plant up. Then he turned to the sun and asked, "I need a plaster, can I have Peppa pig on it?"

**Sluggalf and Slugrond.**

"We can't just let them continue to fangirl our borders." Slugrond complained

"I know, I know."

"We have to stop them!"

"Just give them Slugolas."

"NO! He the authoresses prrecioussss. Also, Slimedruil needs help with the spider problem."

"Oh I see."

"Shall we play chess?"

"You smashed up the board, remember?"

"How about twister?" The TARDIS appeared infront of the Maia and Slime-Elf. The doctor stepped out.

"I hear you have a fangirl problem." The doctor said.

"Yes, they are servent of Sauron and will not leave us alone." Sluggalf replied, bluntly.

The doctor took the sonic screwdriver from his top pocket and screwdrivered everything. "Think of this as rat poison, just for fan girls and Mary-sues."

"Cool thanks." Slugrond and Sluggalf said in unison.

"Merry and Pippin are being stalked by the Slender man." The doctor muttered, then left.

* * *

**Finished! I don't play mine craft so I don't know anything about the aspects. It wasn't very random, I know or insane. Please review! And there were NO gummibears Eve, happy? **

**Reviewers get a ride in the TARDIS.**


	3. We're of to find Slendy Part 1

**Greetings all! I am happy to announce, IT'S THE SUMMER HOLIDAYS! Anyway, I am hyper at the moment so I though I should continue some SotR. I can't be bothered to do the disclaimer, Eve you do it.**

**Eve: Melissa, you do it.  
Melissa (one of Gollum girls best friends): Chloë, you do it.  
Chloë (friend): Gina, you do it.  
Gina (bff and OC from story the interruption): Eloisa, you do it.  
*Eloisa (best friend) looks around* : Blast! The authoress owns nothing apart from the insanity, randomness and Slendy man... Oh, no Slendy man ok.  
Gollum girl2003 Coraline: PROCEED.**

"I'm bored Merry." Pippin whined,it had been a month since the council of Slugrond and the Fellowship STILL hadn't left.

"I thought you where reading about becoming a dentist." Merry replied.

"I have finished reading it." Pippin explained.

"Oh, just go and search for eight pages." Merry said, clearly irritated.

"SLENDY MAN!" Squealed Pippin.

"Yes, now go and pester him, the Doctor is giving me lessons on how to fiddle with a Dalek and not allow it to burn of Slugrond's eyebrows." So Pippin skipped of to find Slendy, however he bumped into Slowgorn, who was wearing stilts and had bits of cardboard stuck to his back.

"SLENDY!" Screamed Pippin, hugging Slowgorn.

"I thought that was just my nickname, no, wait that was Slender Man no... Get of me!" Slowgorn ordered, now rather confused.

"Oh, sorry Slowgorn, I thought you were Slender Man. Why do you have stilts on and have cardboard tentacles stuck to your back?" Pippin asked.

"I am trying to scare Slugolas." Slowgorn whispered.

"OH, I SEE. CAN I WATCH, I'LL TAKE A PICTURE OF HIS FACE IF YOU LIKE?" Pippin shouted.

"Shhh, he'll here." Slowgorn hissed. They spotted Slugolas applying make-up. At this sight they both giggled. Pippin took a sound machine from his pocket and pressed down the beep. Slowgorn walked in front of Slugolas and grabbed his shoulders.

"Oh, hi Slendy man. Oh, hi Slowgorn." Slugolas said casually. Slowgorn stepped off his stilts and burst into tears. Slugolas and Pippin were covering their ears.

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" Slugrond screamed from his room. "I NEED TO SLEEP TO GET MY FREAKIN' EYEBROWS OF DOOM BACK!" Slowgorn stopped crying and asked Pippin if Slugolas and himself could help him search for Slendy man. Pippin allowed them.

"Look, a yellow brick road!" Slugolas squealed. "Lets follow it!" They followed the yellow brick road while doing the Disney walk.

"Follow the yellow brick road, follow the yellow brick road, follow, follow, follow, follow, follow the yellow brick road." Pippin sang, which was then followed by: "we're of to find Slendy, the wonderful Slendy of.. where ever he's from. Because because because because becauuuuse, because of all the stalking he does!"

"AGAIN!" Slowgorn screamed.

"No, not again. I think my ears are bleeding." Slugolas argued.

Boroslime was playing minecraft on his Samsung tablet. Once again, the Slender man came along and killed him, he stood in the middle of the yellow brick shaking. Slowgorn, Pippin and Slugolas Disney-walked up to him. "Yolo, wazzup?" Slowgorn asked, the other three looked at him in confusion.

"T-the tall g-guy got m-me again." Boroslime stammered.

"SLENDY!" All three of the slender-hunters cried.

"T-thats the one."

"Would you like to help us find him?" Pippin beamed.

"YOU MEAN HE'S REAL?!"

"Errr... Yeah Boroslime, Slender man in real." Slugolas said.

"Ooh, scary. Ok but in return I get something shiny."

"Deal!" Slowgorn agreed. So, they continued to follow the yellow brick road while singing the yellow brick road song and we're to find Slendy.

Meanwhile, Slime and Slowdo were freaked out because they discovered fanfiction **(A/N: THE ONE AND ONLY!) **then found out that there were over three hundred Frodo/Sam love stories. They got bored so decided to have a cheesecake party. Like Boroslime, they bumped into the Slender-hunters. "CHEESECAKE!" They both screamed. Out of the blue, a massive talking piece of cheesecake flew down from a tree.

"Yes?" It said. "I am the living ch-"

"CHEESECAKE!" Pippin screamed then ate the cheesecake.

"Pippin!" Slowdo greeted his cousin with a bear hug, Pippin mistook him for Dora the explorer and Slime for Swiper, who was stuffing his face with cheesecake.

"SWIPER NO SWIPING!" Pippin declared, Slime ran away screaming. Pippin then turned to Slowdo. "Dora, can we go on an adventure to Captain Jacks ship then Slugolas can meet Will turner!?"

"Fool of a Slook!" Sluggalf boomed, "this is not Dora the explorer, this is Slowdo!" Pippin let go of Slowdo then burst into tears and claimed he wanted to give a Katsuma from Moshi monsters a hug.

"FOR VALARS SAKE! CAN I NOT JUST GET A MOMENTS SLEEP WITHOUT YOU GUYS SHOUTING!?" Slugrond screeched.

"Shh it's a libary." The whole fellowship, apart from Merry, whispered.

"Okay... Slugolas, is it me or did that conversation make no sense what so ever?!" Slowgorn asked, Slugolas nodded.

"Grrr." Slugrond growled, he then got out of bed and demanded to know what the hell was happening.

"We're of to find Slendy." Everyone sang, cheerfully.

"Well, don't because I don't want to!" Slugrond pouted like a five-year-old.

"Everyone who helps get something shiny, Daddy!" Slowen ,who had miraculously appeared from nowhere, tempted.

"I'm in!" He said quickly.

"So am I!" The doctor exclaimed along with Clara Oswold and Merry.

"YAY, LETS GO AND FIND THE SLENDY MAN!" Merry shouted.

In the horizon, the Slender man screeched and hid behind a paper-thin branch. "Please, don't sing, please! I have an idea! Why don't I play the eight pages...!?" He turned around and teleported off into the distance, somewhere random.

* * *

**Finished! I know this chapter seems half finished but it isn't, oh no... Anyway, I do not own Moshi Monsters either, it belong to Mr Moshi. By the way, I am on it the names meat-eater. Pwease R&R. **


	4. We're of to find Slendy pt2

**Greetings all! I have eaten oreos so expect this chapter to be random... and insane, and maybe a bit funny. Once again, I am too busy stuffing my face with oreos to do the disclaimer. My friends I have used as slaves enough so Samwise, you do it.**

**Samwise: Rosy, you do it.  
Rosy *slaps Sam in the face*: Pippin, you do it. (As in, Frodo's cousin, not their child).  
Pippin: Merry, you do it.  
Merry: Eowyn you do it.  
Eowyn: Uncle Theo, you do it.  
Theoden: Aardvark man, you do it.  
Eomer: My broneys, you do it.  
Riders of Rohan: Ginger yeti, you do it.  
Gimli: Barbie, you do it.  
Legolas: Slender man, you do it.  
Aragorn: Frodo, you do it.  
Frodo: Oh, double blast! The authoress owns nothing apart from the names insanity and randomness.**

* * *

The whole fellowship, the Doctor, Clara Oswold, Slugrond and Slowen continued to Disney-walk down the yellow brick road.

"If I only had a brain..." Pippin sang, mournfully.

"Don't worry Pippin," Slowgorn reasurred him. "You don't need a brain in this fic."

"Oh, ok!" Pippin replied.

"Clara, Clara, Clara C-"

"WHAT... Slugolas?" Clara shouted.

"You look like Clara Oswold." Slugolas stated, giggling like a school girl.

"I KNOW THAT YOU DUMBFOUNDED ELF! I AM CLARA OSWOLD!"

Slugolas' bottom lip quivered, he reached into his purse and took out his mascara. "Here." He said.

"What's it for?"

"Well, it might help, it's good for bad things sometimes."

"No no no. It's good for lost things." Slowen corrected.

"It's bad things Slowen."

"Lost things Slugolas."

"BAD!"

"LOST!"

"BAD THINGS!"

"LOST!"

"BAD!"

"LOST!"

"BAD!"

"LOST!"

"Er.. guys. Since when were we saying a scene from Coraline?" The Doctor asked.

"I'M THE CAT!" Merry screamed from the back of the line.

"I know Doctor, but I like Coraline." Slowen explained. "So does Daddy."

"It scares me, I like the book better." Slugolas said.

"DADDY!" Slowen screamed.

"What!?"

"You like Coraline, don't you Daddy?"

"Yes, I do Slowen."

"Right lets just stop this and carry on Disney walking." Yeah, er so they walked for 500 miles until they found a page. The Doctor stopped them and sonic screwdrivered it.

"It's one of Slender mans pages, I don't think we should touch it." The Doctor warned wearily.

"SLENDY MAN!" Pippin screeched, he skipped up to the page. It read:

_today some nettles attacked me and  
I smashed them up, Mummy rewarded  
me with a Dora plaster. It's all better  
now. The silly Hobbits are searching  
for me on the yellow brick road but  
I am going to play the eight pages  
with them. Night night diary._

"Fool of a Slook." Clara scolded Pippin.

"Hey, that's my line! I want a law suit!" Sluggalf sulked. Finally, the Slender man teleported up to them, he wore his usual black suit and tie with a white shirt, he had no facial features and he was 12ft tall. He laughed nervously and replaced the old page with a new one. _Tick tock. _It read.

"I think I liked the old one better." Slugolas said, anxiously. Slendy man teleported himself back to them.

"Greetings! I am Slender Man but you can call be Shirley. I have joined you to-." Merry raised his hand.

"Can we call you Slendy!?" He asked.

"No. Anyway, I have joined you today to play with the eight pages with you." Everything went dark and everybody had a torch-light, apart from the Doctor ,that is, who had his sonic screwdriver.

"I don't want to play your silly games you sissy!" Clara shot, angrily. Slowli came by her side and agreed, Slendy burst into tears and ran away.

"AHHH IT'S A GINGER YETI!" Slowgorn cried.

"Awww Slendy's gone." Pippin said, sounding quite depressed. Slugrond ran up to Pippin with some super glue and glued his smile back on.

"I'll be back I promise you!" Slendy Mans voice echoed in the distance.

"How did this happen?" Slowen asked.

"I THOUGHT WE SAID NO MORE LINES FROM CORALINE?!" Clara and the Doctor both shouted in unison. Slowen ran over to Slowgorn (who was still cowering at Slowli) and practically threw herself at him, for no reason, really, whatsoever.

"What the hell!?" Slowgorn asked pushing Slowen of him.

"DADDY!" Slowen screamed.

"WHAT DAUGHTER!?" Slugrond shouted back.

"Slowgorns being a meany again!"

"Oh well... I am trying to pick my shiny thing here!"

* * *

Meanwhile, Slugolas; Slimewise; the rest of the hobbits and Slowli, where playing New Super Mario Bros. 2.

"I got gold Mario!" Slowli boasted.

"Oh big whoop!" Slugolas retorted. "You don't have a bright pink Barbie 3DS XL. Plus I have Toadett, who is sooooo pink!"

"How can you be toadett?" Slowdo asked, Slugolas just shrugged. Suddenly, Slimewise died.

"How did I die?" He asked.

"Because a goomba just hit you." Slowdo answered.

"Whats a goomba?"

"Sigh, not this again." Boroslime skipped up to them while they were concentrating.

"WHAT YA DOIN'!?" All six of them jumped and they lost concentration and died, on the game, of course.

"BOROSLIME!" They all shouted, edging Boroslime into a corner.

"Err.. Hehe, peace?"

"Make the torchering as painful as possible." Slowli ordered the other five.

"GET HIM!"

"Ahhh!" Boroslime screamed, running for his ickle wickle life.

* * *

**Done! What do ya think? I don't own mario, he belongs to Nintendo, but I do own a game. So without further ado, please review! Ooh, that rhymed...**


	5. Of Slowens uncovering and TARDIS pizza

**Bwa bwa bwa bwa bwa bwa bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Yay! It' another chapter of SotR! Sorry for the wait, my Grandma has taken up looking after poorly kittens, and I have to help. And seeing as our first patient Jackie, is terrified of hoovers I had to calm her down. She's only five weeks old, she can't help it, but she sooo adorable. If you want to see her let me know and she will be my avatar. By the way, the cat I have as my avatar at the moment is one of my Mums Persian Chinchilla cats called Millie so yeah, now you know. I can't really let go of Jackie unless I want her to become the amazing flying cat sooo, one of the creepy pasta, you do it. Slendy, you the disclaimer because you rule!**

**Slendy: Rake, you do it.  
Rake: Jeff the Killer, you do it.  
Slendy: Jeff is too scary you can't let him into fan fiction. I'll do the disclaimer, the authoress owns nothing apart from the names, insanity and randomness.  
Gollum girl2003 Coraline: Well said Slendy. Proceed my friends PROCEED!**

* * *

The fellowship, The Doctor and Clara sat in the House of Slugronds gaming room. They were very bored. "What do we do now?" Asked Merry.

"Maybe we should do what we were supposed to do." Slowdo replied.

"What was that?" Slime queried.

"GO TO MOUNT DOOM TO DESTROY THE RING, DUH!" Slowdo said.

"Oh yeah." Slugrond and Slowen entered the room. Slowen was holding something in her hand.

"Please Daddy, just for one night. All my friends will dump me if I don't. PLEASE!" Slowen whined.

"NO! I am not going to waste my money on One Direction tickets!" At this, the Fellowship started to cry and laugh.

"Slowen, YOU like One Direction?! Your the enemy then, you're a fangirl!" Sluggalf stated, screeching like a Nazgul and running in circles. The Hobbits were jumping on bean bags, while Boroslime was fitting like he had been attacked by the palantir, Slowgorn was hiding behind the 59 inch flat screen TV while crying and Slugolas was running out of the room, screaming. Slowen w-

* * *

**Oh, it seems I have a text message. *Authoress pauses* which is kind of strange because I'm just like how the hell do I suddenly have a phone. Oooh, it's a blackberry. Anyway, the text message sais.**

**_To Gollum girl.  
I want you to order me a Legolas clone, Aragorn clone, Gandalf clone, Pippin clone, Merry clone, Elrond clone, Frodo clone, Samwise clone and a Haldir clone.. Oh and Boromir and Faramir and Gil-galad and Glorfindel, and Celeborn and.. I think thats it._**

**_Many letter Ninjas,_**

**_Your split personality. _**

**Yeah, so I write: To my split personality, how the hell do I suddenly have a phone. Many creepy Gollum coughs, Gollum girl. Okay, RETURN TO THE STORY! Sorry about that every one.**

* * *

Slowen was pouting like a little girl. "But I have the evenstar, so I can't be a fangirl." She protested, pointing to the jewel around her neck.

"Actually, good point." Slowdo agreed, jumping of the bean bags.

"AH POINTY! DON'T PUNTURE MY SKIN WITH THE POINTY POINT!" Boroslime screeched, still fitting on the floor. Everyone gave him a look, pausing the insanity for a moment, then returning.

"YOU DARE CALL MY DAUGHTER A FANGIRL!" Slugrond boomed, doing eyebrow thing. Which was terrifying and the Hobbits wet themselves, so did Sluggalf the grey, who turned into Sluggalf the Yellow... And maybe the authoress as well, only a bit though, honest. Anyway, the rest of the fellowship burst into tears and ran around in circles, screaming... If they weren't doing that already, that is. They all got up after ten minutes of absolute insanity and apologized to Slowen and Slugrond, who were mopping the floor because the hobbits and Sluggalf wet themselves and because everybody cried, however the apology was while they where still crying and sniffling so sounded more like: I'm svvry Lrd *sniff* Sl- *sob* Slaground. Svvry S *more sobs and sniffs* Slwen.

"I think its *sniffle* time we went to mount doom, apparently they make amazing strawberries and cream." Sluggalf said.

"No, Sluggalf your actually getting that mixed up with Wimbledon, and I just mention strawberries and cream to Mister Slowdo, is all." Slime corrected.

"Oh.."

"Anyway, you are going because you're using up the beds and your annoying. Oh and you are banished forth with from the city of Rivendell, under pain of death.. Oh wait that's Grima's line, sorry Grima!" Slugrond shouted over to a bush. Grima emerged from it and hobbled over, then hit Slugrond over the head. Andy Murray then came and jumbled Slime into a ball and played tennis with Laura Robson, using the poor hobbit as a ball he was a bit scared but there were lots of 'weeeee's coming from his mouth so he probably liked it.

Pippin was singing with Merry. "If I had sanity, I'd be a lawyer and be chased around the place. I'd be making money from framing people. If I has sanity, I'd be sitting under a tree, using the Wizard Gandalf as a trampoline!" They sang in an opera voice. Breaking all the glass in Imladris and probably making Sluggalf go a bit deaf seeing as he is an old man.

"Go away then guys. Go and destroy this ring then." Slugrond shooed.

"Oh, so we're erm... Going now, are we?" Slowgorn said with one of those disapointed voices.

"Yeah, go on." The fellowship slowly walked away.

"Oh, by then." Slugolas said in the same voice.

"Yep, whatever." Slugrond said walking off.

"Bye." The Fellowship said quietly.

They walked off being annoyed to death by Pippin. Until Slowdo noticed something looking around he asked where The Doctor and Clara had gone. As if by command, the TARDIS appeared in front of them.

"HELLLOOOOOO!" Doctor greeted, everyone gave a slight wave. "Soo, I suppose you're wondering what to do now?"

"Nope, we were actually going to get pizza." Boroslime said with a grin.

"We have pizza in the TARDIS." Clara chimed in.

"PIZZA!" Cheered Pippin. So, they all went into the TARDIS, sure enough there was pizza being cooked on the console.

"Now, be careful guys because the pizzas boiling so d..." The Doctor was stopped from explaining by Pippin shouting...

"PIZZA!" He then took a massive slice then shoved it into his mouth. "Hoo haa haa hooo haa! It's hot, you should told us Doctor." The Doctors eyes twitched and he dug his nails into his palms.

"That was what I was explaining, Pippin." He said through gritted teeth.

"Oh, sorry has anyone got some water proof plasters?"

* * *

**I think that's enough of Pippin and his annoying actions, don't you? I got a reply from the text, I am still wondering how I got a phone. The text reads.**

_**The lepricorns got it for you. Now, get these clones from Ebay and lure them into a van with the delivery boy using shiny things, then occupy them with yet more shiny things in the van. Bring them to me with more shiny things.**_

**I like lepricorns! I did it and my split personality is not being very nice to Legolas clone number one. So, I brought in my team, the RSPCL. The royal society for the protection of clone of Legolas. We are hunting down my split personality but my team are still certain that my split personality is inside my head. Silly people they are, silly silly people. Actually Tony Blair was worse...**

**You know the dril, please review and you will get some TARDIS pizza and Figwit. Oh, no. My split personality want Figwit now, NEVER!**


	6. Cheese storm!

**Eyoop! I have actually bothered to update this, hurrah! Thankyou to all the people who reviewed, favourited and alerted this story, it means a lot.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing apart from the names, insanity and randomness.**

* * *

The Fellowship had left the TARDIS (AKA Violently kicked out by Clara) and had travelled for a few a days. "JINGLE BELLS, HP SMELLS! HARRY FLEW AWAY! DOBBY DIED, THE WEASLEYS CRIED, CORALINE ALL THE WAY, HEY!" Slowgorn sang. Slowli gasped.

"Oh no, Slowgorns going all Pippin on us!" He cried.

"Hey!" Pippin said.

"I'm not, I was just expressing my feeling about Harry Potter and Coraline, that's all." Slowgorn explained, simply.

"I'm hungry." Slime whined, boyishly, the other Hobbits agreed.

"We had the rest of our TARDIS pizza ten minutes ago." Sluggalf told them, cardly **(A/N: Don't ask, I'm running out of adverbs.) **Boroslime was studying a piece of celotape on the ground, some how being able to predict it.

"It's see-through, yet it's sticky, it just doesn't make sense! Yet when you put it on something it isn't see through anymore. Hmm, I must look on that." Professor Boroslime pulled of his lab coat and framed glasses and stamped on them. "HA, TAKE THAT YOU FOOLS!" He laughed and pointed at the ripped coat and wrecked glasses, toiletly? (HELP!)

"Can we go to Dutch Oven? I want to get their cheese straws." Asked Merry, sunily; continuing their previous conversation.

"Oooh, cheese straws." The rest of the Fellowship (apart from Sluggalf and Frodo) repeated, dreamily. Slugolas was looking at a thingy in the sky.

"Look, what's that?" He asked, ghostbusterly.

"It's when you see something." Slowli answered.

"No, the thingy in the sky." Sluggalf looked at it, about to say what it was when...

"IT'S FLYING MONKEYS FROM THE WIZARD OF OZ, HIDE!" Slowgorn shouted, trainerly. Everybody hid behind blades of grass, which wasn't a very good hiding spot. Surprisingly, the monkeys didn't notice the Fellowship and just stole some ruby red slippers from Merry, which led him to burst into tears. They emerged from their hiding spots and the Hobbits complained they were hungry again.

"Can we go to the Mines of Moria?" Asked Slowli.

"Will their be cheese straws?"

"And WiFi?"

"Naturally." He replied.

"I would not consider it wise." Said Sluggalf, wisely. Well, he's not going to say it stupidly is he? He's the only sane one here. "We must take the Pass of Cheese Straws."

"YAY!" Everyone else cheered.

* * *

During the Pass of Cheese Straws.

"When I'm on the road..." Pippin and Merry sung for the fifth time today. Everybodies eyes twitched.

"STOP SINGING THAT!" Slowdo screamed in his cousins ear.

"My ears aren't working, tell them to stop being so lazy." Pippin ordered Slowgorn.

"Why can't you do it yourself?" Slowgorn asked.

"Because the newspaper was constricted by the washing machine!" He explained.

"Shut up, or I might accidentally drop you into all the cheese!" Yeah, I forgot to say, everyone apart from the Hobbits, Slowli and Slugolas were waist deep in melted cheese and pastry. Slowdo faced palmed, moaning. They walked a bit further until Slowli nearly drowned in cheese.

"Oi! Barbie Girl!" Called Gimli to Slugolas.

"What?" Everyone burst into giggles when Slugolas had answered to that name... Apart Sluggalf all crazy things that I say everyone has done means everyone apart from him.

"How come your floating on cheese?"

"Oh, that. It's because Orlando Bloom is lactose intolerant. Plus slow-elves weigh almost nothing."

"But Mister Slugolas sir, Orlando Bloom doesn't play you, and he isn't lactose intolerant." Slime said.

"Oh..." Slugolas muttered before bursting into tears, his mascara and eyeliner running all down his face.

"Ooh, touchy touchy." Said Gimli, before being nearly trampled to death by a load of fangirls. For a while, they walked in silence, stopping briefly at the make-up shop to redo Slugolas' perfect complexion, his eye makeup, his lip gloss and his blush. Yeah, so ,as I said, they walked for a while wincing everytime Pippin and Merry sung the road song; or when Slime yapped on about potatoes or plants. Suddenly, a voice nestled warmly on the air, then fell to a horrible, horrible death.

"Yodel aye hee hoo! Yodel yodel yodel yodel hee hoo hee hoo!" Sung the voice, very badly. Making a piece of Mexicana cheese fall from its family, That poor, orphaned piece of Mexicana cheese.

"I hear with my elfy ears something beginning with... AH! REALLY BAD YODELLING!" Screamed Slugolas, clutching his ears. Pippin thought it was all part of the game they had played for the last hour so had a try at answering.

"Ooh, thats a hard one... Erm. I give up, it's too hard!" Pippin crossed his arms in front of him and pouted.

"IT'S SLIMEUMAN!" Shouted Sluggalf, as a bit of five counties was stuck by litening and fell in font of them, bristling Slowgorns nose just a bit.

"Ahhhhh! MY NOSE, BY BEAUTIFUL NOSE, HE DISLOCATED IT!" He screamed. Meanwhile, the Hobbits... Apart from Slowdo, 'cause he's a misery guts. Anyways, meanwhile, the Hobbits ,apart from Slowdo, were making cheese angels and cheesemen, with bits a pickle as noses. Then, the head fell from Pippins cheeseman, he turned red and took a lump of cheese, rolled it into a ball and fried it in breadcrumbs with jalapeño.

"WAR!" He screamed, taking one last look at his headless creation and sobbing; giving the other Hobbits (even Slowdo) and Slowgorn to make cheese-and-jalapeno balls too. A massive cheese-and-jalapeno fight followed afterwards, but I am just going to write what Slowgorn did. Throwing the cheese-and-jalapeno ball towards Isengard, he hit Slimeuman with the lethal weapon. The storm stopped and the Hobbit all groaned with disappointment. Slugolas whooped and patted Slowgorn on the back as he saw who he had hit.

"Who did I hit?"

"Slimeuman."

"THAT'S HOW I ROLE!"

"Oh.. And Sluggalf?" Slugolas called Sluggalf.

"Yes?"

"You were wrong, it wasn't Slimeuman, it was Luke Skywalker!" Slugolas said cheerfully as Sluggalf face-palmed. Boroslime was pondering about that celotape; while Slimewise was rocking back and forth muttering about potatoes and Rosie; Slowgorn was dying from all the jalalpenos he stuffed in his mouth and Slugolas was playing barbies. Slowdo was banging his head against the mountain (he was really annoyed by all the insanity); Pippin and Merry were singing and playing on ipad touches (I think the kiddy one was band in Arda because they didn't think the name iTouch kids was appropriate) and Slowli was pretending to be a ghostbuster. Oh yeah... Sluggalf was talking on his phone to Slimeuman about where the Fellowship were going to go... And about their rap battle.

"YO! Where are you guys gonna go now then, wizzy? The mines have something far more dangerous then Goblins. You ,like, totes know what the dwarves unleashed in the darkness, they were watching too much TV. A creature of fur and cuteness." He turned over a page that had a picture of a creature so terrifying, Grishnag began to cry. "Plus, I think we should scratch the rap battle I am ,like, still recovering from the Hobbits melodies."

"So, were are we going to get our cheese straws now?" Asked Slowgorn.

"I know a good Dutch Oven in Rohan, the nice lady might give us free mega cookies. I want to stop of at the sience lab to examin this piece of celotape further."

"COOKIES!" Screamed Pippin.

"I wanna get cheese straws from Moria!" Argued Slowli.

"I think the Ringbearer should decide... Oh, no, he won't the authoress won't let us. Slime, you can decide." Said Sluggalf.

"I like cookies so I want to go to Moria, sorry Mr Slowdo, sir." Slime replied, feeling guilty when he saw Slowdos hurt face.

"So be it." Sluggalf stated in a reluctant kind of voice.

"PEANUT PUTTER!" Pippin screamed.

* * *

**Sorry for the wait guys. I.E. Writers block. But never fear, oreos and Friji milkshake are hear! So, without further ado, please review, they are much apreciated.**

**Yeah, I put some more to this because I left a rather big chunk out, please PM me the review if you have already reviewed this. Hmm, what is my version of the Balrog I wonder? You'll find out in a couple of days when I have done antoher chapter, SO BE PATIENT!**


	7. The school halls of Moria

**REALLY SORRY GUYS! I was soooo busy with Now and Forever. I can't even blame that. I'll blame my friend Abbie who is sitting right next to me as I right saying "WHAT... Wha-." Only kidding I don't blame you Aragorn Abbie! I have added a bit to ch6 so please read that so that everybody! We hopes you enjoy! HAPPY BIRTHDAY BAGGINSES FROM MONDAY!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing apart from the names, insanity and randomness.**

* * *

When the fellowship finally got to the walls of Moria, they were dying a beach party. Slowli nearly had a heart attack as soon as he saw the place; he kept on giving everybody a geography lesson; it was boring Pippin out of his root beer! "... And that's how Moria got it's koala bears." Slowli explained for the 10000000000th time.  
"Need. Beach. Party." Pippin said in a hoarse voice, sticking his thumb in his mouth. When they finally got to the walls of Moria, Sluggalf muttered  
"Tom Bombadil, owner of the trees make night fall upon thee." The night sky then promptly fell on Sluggalf's head, knocking him out.

All of the Fellowship then looked down from their beach party to see Sluggalf getting up with a large, moon-shaped bump on his head.  
"I wonder if Sluggalf's lost his sanity." Slowgorn wondered.  
"Nah, probably not, I mean... Chapter by chapter the authoress is making us less slug-like." Slugolas said, everybody stared at him.  
"Well, I've just met you, and this is crazy. But here's my number, so call me maybe?!" Sang Merry and Pippin. Slowdo stared at the gates of Moria.  
"You know what guys, I think that the slugs that say every cloud has a silver lining was probably talking about doors." He stated.  
"Cheese..." Mumbled Sluggalf.  
"YAY! Hey, Sluggalf, whats your favourite colour?!" Asked Pippin.  
"NOT TELLING YOU!" **(A/N: My best friend Glorfindel Gina always sais that).** Screamed Sluggalf, spitting on Pippins face.  
Meanwhile, Prof. Boroslime was testing the water in the river. Slowgorn and Slugolas went up to him, grabbed his flask and smashed it on the floor. Prof. Boroslime screeched and fell of the rock he was sitting on while Slowgorn and Slugolas giggled their heads off.

Meanwhile_, meanwhile,_ Slowdo ,being the only sane one left, was trying to find the answer to the riddle.  
"The school halls of Moria... Wait, SCHOOL HALLS!?" Slowli turned bright nurple (yes nurple); the walls collapsed and Slowli fainted again. Once again the TARDIS appeared and The Doctor and Clara stepped out.  
"Take a chill pill ginger yeti. Yes they changed Moria to a primary school. Don't worry about the walls, use your force." The Doctor explained in a Yoda voice. Pippin and Merry used the force to put the pieces of the gates of Moria back, Slugolas turned to Clara. "Call me." He whispered before putting a piece of paper in her hand then winked, Clara backed away slowly; wanting verily to get away from this insanity.  
"I'll give you a clue, the answer rhymes with antelope." Clara said and left with the Doctor. The Fellowship were left clueless still so they decided to have their picnic.  
"Pass the melon will you Mellon nin." Slime said to Slugolas before leaning over and landing face first in the water. "I'm okay." He gurgled before using a Kirby star to get out of the lake.

Suddenly, the doors to the school halls of Moria opened, and Sluggalf looked confused,  
"how the hell does cantaloupe rhyme with mellon?!" He demanded.  
"You don't wanna know." Slime said slowly in a random American accent. **(A/N: I say that!) **  
"Every little thing, is gonna be alright, don't worry, 'bout a thing (don't worry). 'Cause every little thing, is gonna be alright. Oh I rise up this morning, three little birds, beside my door step. Singing melodies pure and true.." Pippin sang in a Rasta voice like a boss. Slowli cried out when he saw a load of skeletons on the floor, Merry heard a crunch.  
"I'm walking on dead people!" He was horrified.  
"I'm walking on sunshine, whoa!" Sang Pippin.

Suddenly, (again) two hairy tentacles came out from the waters depths and grabbed Slowdo, he screamed like a fangirl.  
"Mr Slowdo!" Screamed Slime. "It's Slugronds eyebrows come to eat us all!" He screamed again and ran round in circles.  
"Slugolas, help me! I'm scared of heights!" Slowdo shouted from 130ft in the air.  
"I'll think about it." Slugolas was cool beans and went off to play monopoly. The eyebrows saw something shiny in the water and dropped Slowdo; causing an avalanche.  
"I'm scared of the dark too." Whimpered Slowdo.  
"Chillax cous, I have a glow stick." There was a soft snap and a nurple (there it is again) light appeared. Sluggalf beat that and used his 3DS XL to light up the way. Consequently, Pippin began to cry.

Slowgorn looked at Slugolas' eyeses to see they had changed colour. "How come your eyeses have changed colour?" He asked.  
"An incident on set ment Orlando's eye contacts changed colour." Slugolas explained, gesturing his magenta eyes. They kept on walking for a while until Sluggalf looked at a hall with lots of different class rooms he looked at everybody sadly.  
"I have no memory of this place."  
"That's because Tom B. made the night sky fall on your head." Slowli told the wizard.  
"Oh yeah, I-I knew that... I was just testing you." Sluggalf sounded embarrasest and unsure.

So, everybody stopped and... Slugolas was playing Monopoly with Slowgorn who was confuzzled still about Slugolas' eyeses; Pippin and Merry were eating; Slowli was crying; Sluggalf was reading his notifications on his 3DS XL to see if it had what class room to go in; Slime was on Naboo and Slowdo was looking down, feeling rather nauseous *authoress passes out*. He saw something move and he ran up to Sluggalf. "There's something down there." He whispered.  
"It's Gollum, he been following us for about 3 seconds now, he has wanted to do his show for some time." Sluggalf said, Slowdo shivered and jumped when Gollum jumped down from the ceiling and moonwalkedp to everybody.  
"Hello kidses!" He greeted.  
"Hello Gollum!" Everybody replied.  
"Is they ready to meets the puppetses?"  
"Yes!"  
"We can't hears you!"  
"YES!" Gollum picked up sock puppets and put them on his hands(es).  
"Meet Bob Flim Flam and Eggy McEgg Egg!" One puppet was an egg wrapped in a sock and the other one was a bright orange sock with mini lightsabers stuck to it. Gollum continued his puppet show for a while until doing the tango with a fish. Everyone got bored.  
"Hey, Gollum." Slowdo called.  
"What, precious gollum gollum?"  
"Your name isn't slug related."  
"We thoughts Slugolas was Captain Obvious. Yesss, we did." Gollum frowned.  
"Hey!" Slugolas shouted.  
"Two, do you want to a cough drop?" The ringbearer asked.  
"Musn't ask us not it's business gollum, gollum."  
"Okayyy... Whatever."  
"Push the button, push push the button." Merry and Pippin sang.  
"Your eyeses have changed again Slugolas." Slowgorn told said slow-elf.  
"SCIENCE RULES!" Screamed Proffesor Boroslime.  
NICK'S COMING GO TO SLEEP!" Slowdo screamed. Everyone crashed insantly, he grinned. "I must use that more often."

* * *

**Sorry again guys for the long wait. I hope this makes up for it. I had to put Slugolas' eyes changing colour because that's what happens to Orlando in the movies. I don't own Bob Flim Flam, my Dad and his friend does, but I do own Eggy McEgg Egg. SO without further ado, please review.**


	8. Pippin Slook, the new Winston Churchill?

**Hey all! I'M AT SCHOOL! It's wet play and we're either aloud to go on just dance or play on the computers!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing apart from the names, insanity and randomness.**

**Oh, by the way. There will be one swear word in this chapter, only one though.**

* * *

When everyone had had a present from St. Nicolas , Sluggalf finally remembered what classroom to go in- it was the school diner. Just then, Slowli cried out and and ran into the kitchen. Everyone followed. On top of a table, there was a grave tomb . . . Thing. "Here lies Balin, son of Fundin who actually ate the Fish Friday green fish fingers and lumpy custard." Slowli wailed some more. Gollum went up to him and gave him a box to make him feel better, but it didn't work.  
"Oh suck it up Ginger Yeti, suck it up. I wanted my cheese straws and mega cookies but I ain't having any now." Pippin told him. Not helping much, Sluggalf randomly picked up a skeleton Slori's home school diary.  
"Day 33,234 of school . . . THEY HAVE CHIPS!" Sluggalf read.

Awkward silence.

By this time, Gollum had gotten bored so he had left. "Day 123,345 of school, the new girls are here . . . We have barracaded the entrance but can not hold them for long. We can not get out, the dinner lady made us rhino-meat burgers with bones in them again. Scream, screams in the deep . . . We can not get out, they are coming . . ."

Suddenly, there was a sudden bang that suddened suddenly and out-suddened suddening, suddenly. Everyone turned round to see that Pippin was singing "the YMCA" and when he had thrown his arms out and a skeleton had gone down the well. "Maybe we should change a bit to 'young dwarf, there's no need to fall down.''" Merry suggested.  
"Fool of a Slook!" You can guess who said that.  
"Slugolas, you completely missed your line." Slowgorn told Slugolas, sternly.  
"Ohhhh yeah . . . Sorry. I'll do it now. We must move now, we can not linger." He said awkwardly. Just then, from inside the well, they Fellowship heard some girly screams. Slugolas shrieked "FANGIRLS!"

Some fangirls came screaming into the diner because no one had read the script so far so didn't barricade the entrance. "OMG It's Slugolas!" the said Slow-elf meeped. "OMG THE HOBBITS ARE SOOOO CUTE!" They all screamed and began charging at the Fellowship.  
"STOPPPPP!" shouted Pippin, putting his hand in front of the Fangirls. The fangirls stopped. Pippin cleared his throat and put a Winston Churchill voice on; it was surprisingly good. "Are you sure you want to do this?! I mean, yes Slugolas and Professor Boroslime are hawt, but you might chip a nail!" Pippin declared, Prof. Boroslime and Slugolas looked rather scared. "When life gives you chipped nails, tell your mother, call 999 and demand to speak to Garfield the cat! When life gives you lemons make nurple juice and confuzzle life. When the make-up artists put orange eye contacts in Orlando B's eyeses, be there to change them to grey . . . Or blue; or whatever colour they're supposed to be. And you waste your teenage years raiding us when we are trying to stop your poor Slowdo from being burdened by a shiny thing. Go and bath in baked beans, it will keep your skin manicured and perminantly make you smell of honey. NOW STFUU!" Fangirls and Mary-sues a-like shrugged and skipped off.

The Fellowship gaped in disbelief. Pippin went up to them and put red fezzes on each of them, snapping them out of there frazzles. "Fezzes are cool!" They all shouted when they were un-frazzled.

Still rather confuzzled, the Fellowship ran into the science lab (Professor Boroslime fainted) when suddenly they heard a petite little hiccup and a load of hibiscus flowers in bubbles come from a doorway and popped full-force of Slowgorns nose, making him very angry and clean, meaning he fainted next to Prof. Boroslime. "What the Mordor is that?!" Slime demanded.  
"The Lenor bubble man- a creature that not even a badass wizard like me can kill . . . FLY YOU FOOLS! To the bridge of class 6B, the authoress' class!" Sluggalf commanded. So, everyone ran like Orlando Bloom being forced to go shopping with Miranda Kerr until they came up to some random stairs. Prof. Boroslime wanted to check the diameter so was stupid and lent forward, however; Slugolas caught him just in time.  
"YOU IDIOT!" screamed Slugolas. Sluggalf stopped at a corner to tie his shoelace,  
"lead them on Slowgorn!" He said to the ranger epically as another load of hibiscus bubbles came.  
"But . . ."  
"DO IT NOW! Lightsabers are no use here." Sluggalf pushed Slowgorn away.  
"We don't _have_ lightsabers, but ok."

They ran across the bridge of class 6B (my class) but Sluggalf stood in the middle of it and got his 3DS XL; put on New Super Mario Bros. 2; some how pulled out the gold flower power-up and turned gold. Everyone shrieked as the Lenor bubble man appeared (he was white by the way, you should watch the advert). "You shall not pass!" Sluggalf shouted as the Lenor bubble man stepped onto the bridge.  
"SLUGGALF!" screamed Slowdo.  
"I am the servant of Julien McDonald, wielder of the sequined bikini, the Soapy Station™ will not give you a scholarship! YOU-SHALL NOT-PASS!" The Lenor man giggled and skipped forward but Sluggalf shot a gold fireball at it. Lenor man screamed and fell into the abyss. "That's how a wizard does it!" boasted Sluggalf. From no where, a massive bubble floated from the abyss and trapped Sluggalf, it then popped on the ledge. Sluggalf held onto it for dear life. "Fly you fools." He said as he let go of the ledge, falling into the abyss.  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Slowdo, pulling an odd face and falling to his knees. "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Slime tapped his master on the shoulder.  
"Err, Mr Slowdo, now isn't the time to practice as Luke Skywalker's stunt double." Slime told him.  
"Oh . . . OK." Slowdo got up and walked out of Moria primary school with everyone else.

* * *

**Onto Lothlorien! C'mon guys, please review. It ain't that hard. Just to say if it's good or bad. I may not continue it if no one does because I won't know if people like it. I review every story I read. Right, ok. To get this thing going, I'll give reviewers . . . Hmmm and elf or Slow-elf of there choice and I'll begin replying to reviews, deal? Tell me what you think. So, without further ado, please review.**


End file.
